1KM1KT Free RPG Community

Interviewer: Folks, the day has finally arrived. Six weeks after the kitchens closed, we return to the competition stadium. The judges appear to still be locked in their isolation booth with thirty-nine games and only six weeks of supplies. They'll need to come out soon. Today is J-Day, the day of judgement! The long-awaited time when the judges shall emerge from hiding and reveal the name of the IRON GAME CHEF 2005!

It seems the crowds have started to gather in anticipation of this important day. Sir, do you have a minute?

(a lurker pops his head out from behind a bush) Shhhh!

Interviewer: Sir, just a moment- are you looking forward to-

They'll see me! (the lurker disappears into a shadow)

Interviewer: Hmm. I'll keep trying. There's bound to be a lurker here who wants to speak.

Interviewer: Well folks, it looks like I've stumbled across a lurker willing to share a moment with the audience at home. Sir, can I ask how many times you've checked the forums today?

Lurker: Today? What day is it? I think it's about lunch-time Monday, but I have a funny feeling that I'm... in the future somehow.

Interviewer: Errr... yes. In the future you say? Well, how many times have you checked the forums in, say, the last 5 hours that you have subjectively experienced, whenever they may be?

Lurker: What's that ice-cream cone shaped thing you're holding? Why are you talking into it? I'm old and confused...

Interviewer: I'm sorry to say folks that this sad antipodean creature has had to return to its lair...

Lurker: Who are you talking to? What's going on? What are you doing with that kni.. ugh... ahhh.....

Interviewer: Whew. As I was saying folks, this sad creature has returned... ew, I got some on my shoe... er, returned to his habitat. But a quick consultation of his internet records, courtesy of the CIA... and the answer is 437. He has checked these boards 437 times in the last... Oh, he really does live in the future. It is quite clearly Monday afternoon where he lived... um, lives. Is still living healthily, entirely free from stab wounds. Back to you in the studio, Tom.

BEEP. BEEP.

THE JUDGEMENT WILL BE COMPUTED SOON.

WITHIN ONE MAN-WEEK.

CURRENTLY FEEDBACK AND COMMENTS FROM THE JUDGES ARE BEING GATHERED AND POSTED. BEEP.

THE FIRST FEW JUDGES COMMENTS ARE POSTED IN THE STICKY THREAD ABOVE.

CONGRATULATIONS ON A SUPREME EFFORT. FLESHBAGS.

Interviewer "Oh, I see we have come across what appears to be one of the chefs. Yes, yes, there he is." *walks over to a disheveled figure who leans over himself, beating his chest and sighing* "Excuse me, but aren't you one of the chefs from the esteemed Iron Game Chef competition?"

Disheveled Figure "Who? Me?" *figure sniffs, wipes his eyes* "No, man, I don't know what you're talking about. I... I... I don't know what you're talking about!" *the figure pulls away and starts running* "AGH!!! I can't take the pressure!" *He disappears from sight screaming... "I am INVINCIBLE! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

Interviewer "Well, it appears one of our competitors has perhaps taken criticism of his dish a bit too personally. I am sure we'll see him again."

Off in the distance a sudden noise is heard.
*BLAM!*

Interviewer "Well, perhaps not."

Interviewer: So, Judgebot, it seems we've heard from three Judges so far- Alpha, Beta, and Gamma, each discussing about ten games.

JUDGEBOT: (quietly hums)

Interviewer: Can we assume that we'll soon hear from the mysterious Judge Delta, with an opinion on the final dishes?

JUDGEBOT: (quietly hums)

Interviewer: Would you care to comment on how many games each Judge recieved in total?

JUDGEBOT: (quietly hums)

Interviewer: Or perhaps some insight into the rating system?

JUDGEBOT: (quietly hums)

Interviewer: Right. Don't you have anything to say?

JUDGEBOT: (humming intensifies) CRUSH ALL HU-MANS! DESTROY!

Interviewer: (drops mike, runs for life, leaving fedora and press card fluttering in the wind)

YET MORE JUDGE FEEDBACK HAS BEEN POSTED.

BEEP.