In this game, players recreate the war between Yu-men and Dragonlords in five rounds.
REVIEWER NAME: Joshua BishopRoby
1) CREATIVE AND EFFECTIVE INCORPORATION OF RULES (1-10): 7
Feedback: Michael went all the way and incorporated all eight of the ingredients into his submission, and while not all of them were soundly anchored in the game, it's saying something that he got all eight in there one way or another. The game is supposed to take place in one two-hour session, of which I am slightly skeptical. There's a lot to cover.
2) CLARITY (1-10): 4
Feedback: The game suffers from a lack of structure which seems to be rooted in the author not quite knowing what the game is supposed to be doing. The resolution mechanic of team rock-paper-scissors sounds intriguing, but I can't quite make out how it's supposed to work.
3) COMPLETENESS (1-10): 4
Feedback: I don't find much role in this game. The team rock-paper-scissors is neat, but I don't see character impacting any element of the game. On the other hand, there are 'Armies' and you get a number of them, and you can take them out, but I can't quite tell how to really do any of it in a step-by-step way. Either this needs a heavy rewrite to make it into an RPG, or accept the fact that it's a wargame and revise to make itself a better fit.
4) ESTIMATED EFFECTIVENESS IN PLAY (1-10): 3
Feedback: I do not see many meaningful decisions being made by the players. I see a lot of really juicy color and starting enthusiasm, but I don't see anything to really retain interest for more than the first few rounds of combat.
5) SWING VOTE (1-10): 3
Final Feedback: This game either doesn't know what it wants to be or doesn't know how to get there. Michael, I'd advise you writing out a transcript of what you'd think the players would say as they played the game, and then take a good hard look at what they're doing in there. That should give you an idea of what you're striving for. Then look at how your structure of rules helps players achieve that.
TOTAL SCORE (add items 1 through 5, above): 21