1KM1KT Free RPG Community

1) CREATIVE AND EFFECTIVE INCORPORATION OF RULES (1-10): 4
Feedback: I did like the use time constraint. I actually believe that this
game could be played out over the course of 10 little mini-sessions, and that
the episodic nature might suit some kind of interesting play.

On the other hand, I didn't buy the ingredient use at all. Glass appears in
the title in a weak metaphor for intrigue, but whether it's merely forced or
a cultural gap, I didn't see "Glass Knives" as having much to do with plots
and intrigues. Ancient and Emotion appear not at all.

2) CLARITY (1-10): 4
Feedback: Ongoing grammatical problems aside, I found myself fundamentally
confused about the basic conflict mechanics. Conflict points? Action
points? Are they really the same? If so, why would I wager Action Points?
If not, where do Action Points come from? How does stakes-setting relate to
the result of the die roll?

3) COMPLETENESS (1-10): 5
Feedback: I think there's a lot to work on in terms of what characters do in
Esdemere. I really like the ten festivals, and the stats and facts thing
works pretty well, but setting characters on some kind of path would be
helpful.

There's at least one detail left out: how many points can I assign to facts
for my character? Does it matter?

The text also needs a thorough copy-editing, for issues of basic grammar and
structure. The sense one gets is of a first draft, quickly written, and I
don't know if that's accurate or not.

4) ESTIMATED EFFECTIVENESS IN PLAY (1-10): 4
Feedback: The basic conflict resolution mechanics need a lot of work.
Honestly, I'm not sure how well tailored to the game they are, and that's
mostly because I'm not sure I can picture what conflicts in the game will be
about.

It does seem a little weird to have so much hinge on the relationship between
two stat-plus-skill type values. (plus relationship plus gear...) I really
don't think you've approached the open skill list issue of "awesomeness" or
"loves people" - why not dump all my character points into a universally
applicable fact, and win all the time?

5) SWING VOTE (1-10): 4
Final Feedback: I really do like the basic premise of a few little episodes
over the course of a game year, and I like the color of the setting. The
system is really tepid, though, and I'm also not a fan of ditching the
ingredients completely. Outside of Game Chef, I'd like to see the premise
reworked into a viable game, because there's definitely a gem of an idea
under there, but I think some more thought needs to go into what an actual
session would look like.


TOTAL SCORE (add items 1 through 5, above): 21

1) CREATIVE AND EFFECTIVE INCORPORATION OF RULES (1-10):
3

Feedback:
The time constraint was very well used, having an episodic nature
reflected well in the setting. However, the ingredients appeared to be
almost totally unused, the colloquial name of the city apart.


2) CLARITY (1-10):
7

Feedback:
There were a couple of places where typos made the rules difficult to
understand at first blush, but that's hardly significant. What was
more confusing was "The physical description of your character ([snip]) is one type of fact that you may feel free to create for your character. The rest are facts," which implied that there was a 'fact' concerning non-game
mechanic description and a Fact which is a trait that gives you extra
points in conflicts. The rules are simple enough- a table saying what
the target number was for different points differentials would be
handy.


3) COMPLETENESS (1-10):
6

Feedback:
Although there is little actual material, what there is does a
competent job of describing the festivals that form the backbone of
the game. It does, however, lack much of a mood or atmosphere as there
is nothing about the city itself, its important citizens,
organisations or much else for the players to interact with. This does
give the players a blank slate, but it would be nice to have more
shape to it.


4) ESTIMATED EFFECTIVENESS IN PLAY (1-10):
4

Feedback:
The concept of 'negative experience' is slightly worrying, and there
are a couple of places where I think the rules might flounder.
Firstly, the conflict resolution mechanism is not finite horizon, so
there is no guarantee a conflict will ever end. There's also the way
that the conflict points serve as effeciveness and resilience in
conflicts, which will make conflicts heavily one-sided. This would
have the effect of thoroughly discouraging the players from taking on
all but easy tasks.


5) SWING VOTE (1-10)
4

Final Feedback:
I like the concept of a filler game with simple rules, and this sort
of scenario seems like a good match for it, but there's not really
much to ignite my excitement here. If the city had been better
described I think it would spark more interest. The goals of the
characters are very nebulous, and there's little consideration to how
each individual session advances the character's agenda. If there was
some means of measuring success, it would give more shape to the
system.


TOTAL SCORE (add items 1 through 5, above):
24/50

Creative and Effective Incorporation of Rules: 7

I really like the idea of how the 10 short sessions could work (playing over a lunch date with friends - brilliant!) and you tied it very clearly to the episodic nature. I like that greatly, but the use of the components is a bit too loose. I don't think the "glass" part of the city really comes up much at all.

However, the phrase "City of Glass Knives" is really sweet and evocative. When you get time in the revision, I'd love to see more about what that means, and perhaps working that further into the direction of the game. Maybe referencing "glass knives" in the course of an in-character monologue has some kind of ritual-like mechanical effect?

Clarity: 5

The rules text is cleanly written and broken up into digestable pieces for the most part, except for the part of the core Conflict mechanics. It took me a second read to see how the conflict resolution mechanics worked - can these be revised? It's important that this major part of the game goes over smoothly.

Completeness: 5

This game has a good structure in place (the very structure of it's ten episodes over the year), parts of this text could use some more depth. Examples of good Characters / Character Facts / uses of Experience / Conflict Resolution would help things, of course. Moreover, the "Creating and running episodes" part is sorely lacking. To succesfully run a character-driven 1-hour session, this is the very part where we need a clear direction, since the players and GM don't really have time to wander around the setting or get stuck in "prep". This game sorely needs some better guidance for how to put an episode together, and it would shine if it had that in place.

(Random idea: what if you began the game text with the 10 holidays that the players will see and celebrate? It would instantly give them a big dose of the color of the setting, as well as priming them for what to expect elsewhere.)

Estimated Effectiveness in Play: 5

There could be some bumps in play. As mentioned above, more help with creating episodes would really fit this play format. Character creation allows for Character Facts rated in points with "no upward scale", but I feel like this is too open-ended, and an over highly rated trait (like 50 where most are 5) could really throw off the conflict resolution. In general, character creation could benefit from more restrictions. Given the limited time of play, this could be one of those times where imposed limits - like only X stats, and only Y points to distribute - can encourage creativity through restraints.

The conflict resolution system is rather vanilla, and I'm not sure if it's going to encourage the kind of play that's wanted, given the many steps (gather points, bid points repeatedly alongside rolls, etc.) that the system requires. What about this current system is cool for you, and where else could we take the system to make it better promote the stories you want to see in Esdemere?

Swing Vote: 8

The city of Esdemere is also shaping up to be a vibrant and fascinating place - I'm looking forward to getting more about what to expect as a protagonist in the city. I also really like the creative structure you put around the game, as I'm always favor of new games fitting into different kinds of time/commitment niches, and this is included. I'm looking forward to seeing how this evolves.

Total Score: 30/50