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PaGE 53
"tin pin-pricks of light that hung overhead." change to "tiny", may want to reword to "tiny points of light" Done

"Space Travel is a common part of society although the general populace do not often find the need to move about." change "Space Travel is commonly available though generally unused by the bulk of the populace." Done

"Space travel is either a requirement for work, a lifestyle or to provide a change of scene for a holiday." change "Space travel is either a requirement of work, a lifestyle or used for entertainment purposes." Done

"Frivolous planet hopping is rare." change "Purely recreational planet hopping is rare." Done

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PAGE 60
"Furthermore, modern Autos are programmed using the Gaia II system and are therefore impervious to the programming
attempts of Droids." change "Autos" to "Automations". Also Gaia II is mentioned here but nowhere else? What is it? How is it different than Gaia I? Reworded.

PAGE 62
"With the onset of the Droids, the automatons were reprogrammed within an instant and the human race was swamped by machines." change "With the onset of the Droids, the automatons were reprogrammed within an instant and the human race was swamped by deadly machines." Done

PAGE 66
"The rest of humanity find it difficult to deal with the Akarak Nation and people’s perceptions are normally based on planetary and education." change "The rest of the Imperium finds it difficult to deal with the Akarak Nation, people's perceptions differ depending on their homeworld and education."

PAGE 68

"Although clean and tidy in appearance, no Void Rescue crew is squeaky clean. For a price, they can be asked to turn a blind eye or not ask where the" unfinished sentence. Fixed

PAGE 75
"in the group term" change "as" Done

PAGE 76
** MENTION PRE-MADE BIONICS SUITS ** Done, on pg 75

"As soon as a human character takes their first bionic augmentation" change "Immediatly after a bionic augmentation,(regardless how small), you should update your Human / Armour card to a bionics one." Done

"If something happens in the game and the player forgets to use a system, it is taken as the character not being fully used to being anything but human and thus not using the system." change "If you forget to include your system after checks have been made it is considered too late to utilize those systems." Done

"Having lots of systems installed means that there is lots to remember and therefore, it’s best to leave bionics for more experienced players." change "Keeping track of multiple systems is a more complicated form of play and may not be well-
suited to beginning players." Done

"but it might be more appropriate for a person’s position in a team." change "but it might be more appropriate for the characters role in a team." Done

"The Augmentation for Borgware is done using" change "The Augmentation(Aug) for Borgware is done using" Done

"Bionics Systems Roll (Easy) Bionics Know Roll and Mechasys Systems Roll." change to use "Skill Check" instead of "Roll". Done

"Augmentation and Reha bilitation" change "Bionic Augmentation and Rehabilitiation" (for indexing purposes) Done

PAGE 77

** The process of "loosing humanity" is not covered in the previous section about bionics and borgs. There is seemingly no loss, so why is it mentioned here as a bonus? The bonus isn't game effect but social effect. With Cyber, you still look human. have reworded.

"The most desirable technology to come from the Aran War is Cyberware." change "The most desirable technology to come from the Aran War is Cyberware(Cyber)." done

"Augmentation" change "Cyberware Augmentation" (for indexing purposes) done

"This system is a chair in which the Aug sits. The chair is set in a very accurate beaming field. On another chair is the
Cyberware (suit or device). The subject is made unconscious and the suit is beamed from its chair into the Aug while the
internals of the Aug are beamed into a biotank for storage." change "The chair generates a hyper-accurate field used to implant Cyberware. An energy beam interacts with the field to transplant implants into the Aug, which sits within the field and is made unconscious by drug inducing mechanisms. The implants must be close by for the beam to properly implant and movement is not recommended." Not quite - when I say beaming, I mean as in Star Trek "beaming to surface". It's not very well explained, I'll improve it.

"This uses a special form of Nanobot which has specific instructions on the alteration of the Aug." change "These highly specialized nanites are designed to perform specific alterations to the Aug." Done

"NBG is essentially hundreds of robots smaller than the human eye can see that are programmed to co-ordinate for a single purpose, the augmentation that they will install." change "NBC nanotechnology is comprised of hundreds of tiny robots which are programmed to work together for a single purpose, typically to install an augmentation." Done

"Once the robots are complete, they shutdown and biodegrade within the host’s blood system." change "Once complete the nanites bio-degrade within the Aug's blood system." Done

"NBG is applied by injection through a normal hypo." change "NBG is administered by a hypodermic needle." Reworded entirely

"Depending on the work, NBG can last between 5 minutes and 60 hours." change "Depending on the task being performed, NBG may work between 5 minutes to 60 hours, to completion." Done

"Rehabilitation" change "Cyberware Rehabilitiation" (for indexing purposes) Done

"Much like Borgware, the amount of Rehabilitation required for Cyberware depends on the extent to which the human
has be augmented." change "Much like Borgware, the amount of Rehabilitation depends on the amount of augmentation." Done

"Repair and Upgrading" change "Repair and Upgrading Cyberware" (for indexing purposes) Done

"Cyberware is generally under the skin and thus requires the same technology to repair and upgrade as was required for
the original installation process." change "was required" to "is required". Done

"If CRC was required for augmentation, then it will be required for repair and upgrade." change "was required" to "is required" Done

"large quantities of skin has been removed," change "large quantities of skin are removed," Done

"Bionics Systems roll is required" change "Bionics Systems skill check is required" Done

"Mostly, all the augmentations required are listed and installed all at once. This also has the effect of reducing the Rehabilitation times." change "Typically all cyberware augmentations are implanted at the same time to reduce the amount of rehabilitation needed." Done

"Incremental Bionics" needs a bigger heading to be on par with a higher category. (seems some of the font sizes used in headings don't make visual sense, ie "Borgware" heading is smaller than "To suit or not to suit".) To increase readability, use cascading font sizes in fixed increments to make the headers clearer for the reader (ie 25pt, 20pt, 18pt, 16pt, 14pt)... Done

"For most, the jump from humanity to full suited Aug is one that is too great to take in a single step." change "The jump from unaugmented to a fully suited augmented, in a single operation is often too great of a transition for some." Done

"Taking a month out of life or the cost of suiting in one go makes going for a suit impossible." change "Taking a month off or the great expense can make a fully suited augmentation impractical if not impossible." Done

"To incrementally reach the same state as by going for a suit does cost more but the cost is spread over a long period of time." change "Incremental upgrades over time can reduce the overall cost." Done - although it increases the overall cost

"When upgrading incrementally, there is a point where the Aug has to choose between keeping their humanity and trading everything for a metal casing." change "While upgrading incrementally, there is a point where the Aug may loose their remaining humanity." Done

"This choice is made at the last step, where the last vestiges of humanity are swapped for a heavy armoured shell." change "This occurs at the final stage of augmentation where the last vestiges of the patient are replaced by bioware." Done - but its not bioware, that would keep you human.

PAGE 78

"The systems installed up until this decision point have been placed under the skin so the resulting suit that the Aug will have will be of a similar size to their previous human form. Therefore, if you want to be bigger and a less-human form of Aug, then go with a suit." ...remove (maybe) Done

"As a general rule, it is wise to have a plan of what form of Aug you want to end-up as. This is so that you get the right
type of bionics early on." change "It is recommended to get proper counseling and have a plan for augmentation. This will help you get the right bionics at the right time and reduce cost and rehabilitiation as much as possible." Niiiiice sentence, done

"are Augmentation Points." change "are" to "is" Done

"For any human," remove Done

"points is their Meat Attribute" change "their" to "your" Done

"Other systems provide more space (such as the frame)." change "Other systems provide more augmentation points (such as the frame)." Done

"bonuses to game mechanic" change "bonuses to game mechanics" Done

"For example, a Motor system gives bonuses to Shift and Meat state, which is a game mechanic effect." change "For example, a Motor System gives bonuses to SHIFT and MEAT Attributes, which is a game mechanic." Done

"If the system does not effect a certain area (such as Hit Points), then the area won’t be listed." confusing, Hit Points is a game mechanic statistic, do you mean certain areas like an arm? Ah, confusing. Imrpoved.

"Many systems also have a set of requirements." change "Many systems also have requirements." Done

"These requirements are systems that must already be pre-installed before the new system is put in." change "These requirements must be met before new systems can be installed." Done

"human muscles" change "muscles" Done

"Understanding the Requirements" change "Understanding Bioware Requirements" (for indexing) Done

"The chart above shows the requirements of all the major types of bionics. Systems on the left hand side (Endobioreorg,
Organ Engine, Rink and Light Armour) do not have any requirements. All the others require the system that it is joined to on the left, for example the Frame requires Generators first." missing chart... Yep, I know. thx!

"For each major system, there are different manufacturers that provide system at different prices to fit whatever budget
you have. The general descriptions of what the components do is given below. The list of systems that can be purchased
is given later." change "For each major system, there are many manufacturers at different price ranges. General descriptions are provided below." Done

"typical human method or be breaking the solids to gas." change "be" to "by" Done

"in old people." change "due to age." Done

"as better digestion can really be detected." change "of better digestion are noticable." (any detection would find bioware)... Done

"Low specification Endobioreorgs replaces the digestive process with also the ability to detect and disassemble some toxins such that the Aug isn’t poisoned." change "Some lower specification Endobioreorgs enhance the digestive process and are able to break down toxins better to help prevent poisioning." Done

"Even nutrients can be synthesised from base plant matter that contains no nutrients at all." creates something from nothing? MAGIC! Not really, nutrients are just base biological matter reorganised. It's sort of magic.

"over 10 billion synapses." change "billions of synapses." Done

"for the user" remove Done

"Organ Engines are the second system that are usually taken by the elderly as it improves life span by replacing the heart
and better providing the brain with the nutrients it can use." change "Organ Engines are another common system used to extend the life span by replacing the heart and better providing the brain with neutrients." Done

"need to breath" change "need to breathe" Done

PAGE 79

"The frame replaces the human skeleton and its joints." Change "The frame replaces the characters skeleton and joints." Done

"The Frame also provides the Aug with more protection from damage and allows the Aug to take more knocks before becoming knocked out (more Stun)." change "The Frame also provides the Aug more protection from damage, allowing more physical punishment before being knocked out. This increases the characters Stun score." Done

"However, the frame tends to be heavier than the human bones and so the Aug will feel a reduction in physical dexterity until the Motor system is installed." change "Frames tend to be heavier than skeletons and without a Motor system the character will suffer a dexterity penalty." Done

"At low specification, the Frame just replaces bones with a large effect on dexterity and little additional protection." change "At low specification, the Frame only replaces the skeleton causing a negative effect on dexterity and minor physical protection." Done

"At high specification, the Frame provides a lot of protection and Augmentation points for little reduction in dexterity." change "At high specification, the Frame provides more physical protection and additional Augmentation Points for a slight reduction in dexterity." Done

"By taking generators, the Aug is really planning to take the next step as they do not provide any other benefit but to allow other system to be installed." change "Installing Generators allows the Aug to further upgrade with additional systems." Done

"A low specification," change "At low specification," Done

** Soul Attribute mentioned here for the FIRST time since Bioware chapter started. This should be addressed immediately when a loss of humanity is mentioned with regards to Bioware installation. Given Soul its own section at the start

"are placed in," change "installed" Done

PAGE 80

"The rarity of the bionics suit is the rarity of the largest value." change "The rarity of a bionic suit is equal to a system of the suit with the highest rarity." Done

"replacement to have happened (Borg)" change "replacement (Borg)" Done

"Statistics must be larger" change "Statistics must be greater" Done

"You can’t, however, have you character walking around with zero or negative statistics between separate installations." change "A character with zero or negative statistics between installations cannot be played until those instllations are complete, the GM has full control over the character at this time." Done

"To augment your character, use the systems in the Equipment Index, where there is greater variety." change "Use the Equipment Index to augment your character." Done

PAGE 81

** After each Step's updated character sheet explain what numbers changed and why.

PAGE 84

"Icar" consistant use of the game title should be all caps through entire book "ICAR" It's Icar.

"own personal goal" change "own personal goals" Done

"non-player characters" change "non-player characters(NPC)" Done

"introduce you to Anadar Cluster" change "introduce you to the Anadar Cluster" Done

"a multitude of sins and hidden areas." sins? Yep, as in bad things

PAGE 85
"skills wise," change "skill-wise," Done

"you know you subjects" change "you know your subjects" Done

"sounds like the live for you." change "sounds like teh life for you." Done

"nebula" plurl is "nebulae" Doh! I knew that.

"accommodation" change "accomodations" Correct as it is in context. Accommodation (where you stay) in International English is plural, like 'Sheep'.

PAGE 86

"end of career." change "end of your career." Done

PAGE 87

"handle all the claims" change "handles all claims" Done

"Colonies cannot be listed on a Junk List, so salvage cannot be protected by" broken? Completed

"SVs" whats an SV? Salvage vessel, replaced

"Every item has a price/tonne. Bigger items tend to have a high price/tonne as do valuables: such as a space craft AI Rayengine (which is the size of a gob stopper)." a gob stopper (odd reference, assuming you mean the ball-like gum candy? If so, thats not very big, you are referring to bigger items that have a high price/tonne value...perhaps you mean to say, some items don't get sold by the tonne like the Rayengine which, if working, is worth a fixed rate? (like 50% of street value?) I do mean that - have reworded

PAGE 88

"The Imperium, spread too thinly across Remmar, have only a toe in Anadar and as such Anadar and the Darkspace around is abound with dangerous opportunity." change "Due to a thin Imperial presence, the Remmar and the Darkspace around it is quite dangerous." Done

"Anadar has only a handful of successful colonies and those are clinging onto their own existence." "Anadar has only a handful of colonies which cling tentively to their own existence." Done

"The relative sparsity of colonies made also made it an ideal hiding place for pirates and criminals." change "The relative sparseness of colonies make it an ideal den for pirates and criminals." Done

"Two of Corisk’s fifteen worlds are inhabitable. They are called Florence and Penelope and orbit directly opposite each
other. Florence is the largest and most populated and has three moons, all of which have thriving mining communities." conflicting, Florence is inhabitable yet its the largest and most populated? change
"Two of Corisk's fifteen worlds are inhabitable. They are called Florence and Penelope and orbit directly opposite each other. Despite these worlds being inhabitable, their moons are host to thriving mining communities."

"Florence’s climate is temperate, controlled by a complex interaction of moon gravitational pulls and a brand new atmosphere generation plant." this was supposed to be inhabitable... Done

"Forence's hostile atmosphere has recently been terraformed by a new atmosphere generation plant, and may be hospitable in the near future." (if thats what you mean...) "A healthy rivalry exists between Florence, Penelope and the Boudika Orb. Corisk is as close to a typical Imperial system as you will find in Remmar." If these two worlds are inhospitable why would they have a rivalry? They are inhabitable - not inhospitable! I think you've had a reading failure there.

PAGE 91

Before Mentioning Scav Security, perhaps label this new section "Scavenger Skeletons" or something. Didn't realize what I was reading till I saw a skill listing... Capitol idea!

PAGE 96
ICAR not "Icar" Nope, Icar

"Welcome Gamesmaster (GM), you are the author’s best friend. This section will help you to run Icar. Much of the information here should not be shared with the players (unless their characters discover it). This guide is written in an
authoritarian style, not to impose laws but to keep it brief and to the point. Assume that anything in this guide or the rules is open to interpretation and bending to meet the needs of your group." change (maybe)

"This section will help you run ICAR. The information here is a guide designed to be brief. Any of the rules are open to your interpretation and can be adjusted to meet the needs of your game." Reowrded somewhere between the two

"It’s much easier to represent that on a scribbled map with a grid to help represent scale." conflicting... If the players shouldn't use a battlemap because of the "4d" nature of the game, then mentioning a grid here seems to conflict. If a battle map isn't used, how should they go about detailing the combat on the table? Will be providing examples of scribbled maps on squared paper

** XXXXXXXX Provide CC GM help sheet with the manouvres and some sample CC combos Yep, in my list

PAGE 97

"The intended length of campaign should govern the amount of Roleplaying Points you hand out." change "The intended length of a comapaign should govern the amount of Roleplaying Points you hand out." Done

** Define what a campaign is (not everyone may know this verbage). really? Ok, Done!

** No RP is handed out for Killing, but you may want to consider handing out RP for defeating an oppoent, less emphasis on the killing and more on being successful in combat without death. Though, as a GM I would give out RP for killing if they role-played the combat properly and not just hack n slash combat. Gotcha

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PAGE 108

Finished!

Wow, that was a long haul. Thank you very much Viz, you're a star for putting that together.

that's some serious proof reading. Well done

some of its just opinion so its take it or leave it as you see fit...

I'ts not done...I just stopped to let you catch up. I will try to finish it soon, since you seem up to date on it.

Then if you want me to go over the next revision, just let me know.

I have no end to personal opinions! lol