Looking for feedback on my new game: Low Fantasy Detectives

[koipond]

Okay, now I just skimmed it because I was looking at the game at a substantive edit level and not at a more precise level. I wanted a feel for the game rather than anything in particular.

A couple of things jump out at me, and most of them are a rehash of what people have said but I'm going to try to expound on their idea. The first is that like Evil Scientist I think you need to rearrange things a little bit. To be fair, there are many schools of thought in regards to "rules or setting" first. If you want to go the rules and then the setting stuff, go for it but when it comes down to it put the character creation stuff before the how you resolve conflict stuff. I want to know how I can get into your game, and the way to do that is through my character. Once I have that, I can figure out how they can go about doing things mechanically.

Secondly, forget the terminology but I'm with the Mr. E over there when I say that your fantasy dna lab yanks me right out of the setting. Just through skimming I felt really engaged in this, kind like In the Name of the Rose style of game and then I get the alchemists and it's like I've stopped caring about it because anything that would have made this difficult and cool has been replaced with a person in a lab coat fiddling with vials and I'm off doing something else.

Any suggestion I have would be to actually do away with alchemy stuff and focus on the old fashioned procedural stuff.

I would also suggest checking out Blowback by Elizabeth Sempat for some other thoughts on how to run procedural stuff. She's got a couple of really mind blowing ideas in that game, though it deals more with spies than police but some of the same stuff can apply. It's totally worth the read and I was really glad I was able to pick it up.

[Rob Lang]

[MrGreen]

Thanks for the feedback guys!

As for the Alchemists I feel some people are giving them too much credit. It's not meant to be a lab full of guys sciencing out every answer. It's meant to be one or two eccentric weirdos with odd contraptions and smelly substances in a small room, helping the detectives with things they might miss. I want to give the players someone semi-reliable they can go to and get information; if they ask the right questions and find/bring the right things. Think of it more like Walter Bishop from fringe, with a little less dementia, and less like the CSI lab.

Also I tried to keep their tests to a reasonable level, no DNA, no exact identification from blood, no identifying ridges in fingerprints, etc. Does it still feel too modern/powerful? Would it feel better if the lab guy(s) had a name, some more identifying characteristics to attach to, other than "just some lab guy"?

As for the layout, yes it's currently abysmal, as is the editing and grammar, this is all true.
Good call on the reference section for conflicts, and changing the order of the character/precinct creation sections.
Also the character/precinct sheets were literally made in Paint in 10 minutes before the first game. They've never gotten a redesign since, someday their time will come (when I meet someone who can do good ones for cheap/free).

[SheikhJahbooty]

Wow, people had problems with this game.

I remember thinking, "He wanted Sean Bean in Game of Thrones to have Hugh Jackman's support crew from Van Hellsing. This is probably one of those games that if I were less busy would be hilarious."

Although I suppose if you gave it a detailed fantasy world like Eberron or Zir'an, you might be able to go for the serious procedural drama.