Science Fiction Physics

[SheikhJahbooty]

I hope everyone here understands comic book physics.

Comic book physics is what allows Kid Miracleman to lift a tanker truck full of petrol and smash it down on top of Miracleman's head. You see, real physics doesn't allow that. Real physics states that the truck would crumple and the part that Kid Miracleman is grabbing would come off of the truck. But in comic book physics, a super strong hero can lift an aircraft carrier with one hand, as if the entire weight of the aircraft carrier could be supported by the tiny portion of it's structure touching the superhero's hand. In comic book physics, things don't break unless the hero is a newbie and it would be funny for it to happen.

(Real physics sucks. I can't even lift my car to change the tire if I put the tire jack in the wrong place.)

By the same token, there are certain laws of physics that sci-fi regularly gets wrong, mostly intentionally, and I think it would be fun to start a thread about them. Site examples if it would make your post funnier.

I'll start by raiding Atomic Rockets.

1) Down is a legitimate direction in space. Space ship decks can be laid out perpendicular to the direction the ship regularly accelerates in, so that the engines are at your back, the bow is at your front, and your feet point... down, because well... down exists in space. In fact, all ships share the same down direction even if they all have their own artificial gravity generators. You never see any ship aligned so that her artificial gravity plating points off to the upper right.

2) Space is filled with "stuff". This "stuff" pushes against your spaceship, so that if you shut off the engines, your ship would stop. This is why gunstars, and the Millennium Falcon and what not have to have their engines on the entire time they're going anywhere. This "stuff" is what vibrates, carrying sound, so that the heroes can hear when enemy ships explode. This is why space fighters that have wings are more maneuverable. The wings push against the "stuff" and help the craft maneuver. This "stuff" is also what keeps ships traveling along the line that it's nose is pointing. Without this "stuff" the ship would go off to infinity, in the direction of it's last vector, no matter which way it's nose was pointing. The fact that ships have to push this "stuff" out of the way is also why small fighters are more maneuverable than large carrier ships. Also your ship's engines push against this "stuff". Without that "stuff" there, if an enemy ship ever "got on your tail", the reaction mass being pushed out of the back of your ship would shred it to pieces or burn it to a cinder.

This "stuff" however, will not protect you from explosive decompression. If you go outside without a space suit, you will explode.

3)Unless it has an engine, no object in space is ever going anywhere. Asteroids, planets, stars, these things are always stationary in regards to each other. Asteroids might hit each other, because of course asteroid belts are really crowded, but the asteroids never leave the asteroid belt. Comets move, but they are always far away so that doesn't matter. Space stations never need station keeping, so they have no engines. It's always easier to break pieces off of an asteroid and carry them away with you than it is to move the whole asteroid to somewhere where its materials can be put to use.

4) Did I mention that asteroid belts are really crowded? Well they are. You would be crazy to fly through there!

5) Things in space aren't really that far away. If it takes you 2 weeks to fly to Jupiter, your ship has kind of weak engines. They would not at all be more powerful that the United States of America's entire nuclear arsenal.

[Chainsaw Aardvark]

Despite rumors to the contrary, there is in fact only one type of radiation. It is essentially always regarded as dangerous, though apparently the main risk is that it will give you beneficial mutations that will compel you to take up an occupation of free-lance crime fighting. Tales of something called "cancer" are limited to those with a less than idealistic view of the world.

On a semi-related note, ignore the man in the corner ranting about Delta-V. While some ships might need fuel, it gnerally only to keep their power systems running - this whole equal and opposite reaction/dumping stuff out the engines is a load of hogwash.

Although hydrogen bombs theoretically have no upper yield limit, and are made from some of the most abundant stuff in the universe, unstable and hard to acquire anti-matter is the preferred explosive for warheads of choice.

Everybody frequents the same narrow lane of traffic through each solar system. Going too far up or down, and thus treating space as a three dimensional area, is considered cheating.

Most space agencies and military forces are equal opportunity employers or operating under affirmative action laws. Thus you will almost always see multiple ethnicity, including ones that might need otherwise extreme adaptation equipment serving together on a ship. To further facilitate this - visible text will always be in 60+ point lettering.

[kumakami]

I'd just like to quickly add... No matter how toxic/radio active/ ion based/ whatever your engines are they will have no effect on any/all planet's atmophers.... (spell check is dead)

[SheikhJahbooty]

Lol, you guys are totally right!

I don't know why I even mentioned reaction mass. Nothing ever comes out of sci-fi spaceship engines. Nothing! They produce propulsion by being glowy or something.

Glowy does not count as something coming out of the engines. And Chainsaw is hilariously correct; light is not radiation in sci-fi physics. The scene in Serenity comes to mind when Gina Torres is on Miranda and she says, "I'm not detecting any radiation." to which I have to MST3K, "except with her eyeballs!"

But no, in sci-fi physics, it isn't radiation unless it will give you cancer (the right away kind, not the after years of exposer kind) or super powers.

[maledictus]

And there is always light in space, you can see everything, even if you are parecs away from any light source.

[kumakami]

No matter how powerful the weapon, you ship will only shake a little when hit....in space.....with no frictional force.

(a star wars classic) When destroyed, all ships in space fall......as specifyed by how the camra is shooting them