Ben,
I find it interesting that you didn't see the time use as a tack-on, which it indeed is
Not a diss, just I find it interesting. The use of ancient comes from the forms and words- all from the book of ancient words. I guess that is weaker than the other uses, but still there "Greater Devils of the past seem to have no bearing on the events of the game." Excepting that one of them pretty much sets the stage for the game, yes indeed!
Clarity is indeed a major issue, and it needs better organization and examples. the kind of examples with would come from playtesting. "ideas to serve as inspiration for the Victorianesque world" That is an excellent idea! Wonder is in fact, under-used right now. "There are also quite a few specific rules that could be fiddly- it might be nice to have them introduced only in later sessions when the basics have been internalised by the players. " Implementation of that seems problematic, but perhaps that is just a designers viewpoint
nyarly,
On the subject of time and ancient, read the first few sentences for Ben
"The three acts are interesting, but don't seem to mesh well with the rest of the game." Nailed. The organization is bad, and I developed it as I wrote it. The rest of the clarity and completeness issues seem very valid and something I'll correct. I'm unsure if the dice system is too clunky, cause that is the entire system- after a fashion. I'm more unsure about the chance of any given result and how that works in driving play. "Finally, the three act structure feels a little forced." Its gone. I never get into the time theme idea this year, and absolutely hated it.
James,
Time is forced. Right on! I thought the ancient was a good use through the book and the word-concepts, but of course I did- being the designer and all
Seems you had less problem with the clarity than others did, which surprised me.
Ok, now you've really got to the core of the game's problem here: "Very little direction for any of the players as to how to conduct scenes" and "The actions of the characters are very distinctly structured, but there's nothing to connect it to the higher arc of play" I feel that way too, and I'm working up solutions as I type this
If you could, I'd like you to expound on the social-contract and 'wheek spinning to progress' comments, that would help me visualize those problems better. "This game needs a reward mechanic somewhere to drive play forward into the final chapter." Well with the time theme gone, and the arcs removed that is a null point. So I guess you are looking for a reason to play? I'll have to contemplate that. I know I'd like to play for the player interactions that will result, and the characters that will be born from them.
kleenestar,
Wow. What a review. You'll have to wait a bit for my thoughts on that one