the Silent Void

[J.K.Mosher]

Tried the Tri-fold again with the focus on breaking it up into three units,
1 = Player, 2 = GM, 3 = Sheets & Extras . . .

Not going to work. I was able to condense and get the Player one to work,
but I have too much info for the GM to review for it to fit . . . so it's back to the
booklet . . .

Worth the attempt though . . . made me tighten up some of my explanations.

[J.K.Mosher]

I have finished the revisions! Hurrah to me!
These are re-writes of an original 24 hour submission. These are NOT for the competition.

There is two links. the first is to the first revision; set up to print on half pages and if done
in duplex it can make a little book. This is the first re-write prior to Onix being gracious
and proofing for me.

https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B8q-nG ... lVyLUJycVU

This second link is the final re-write (I Hope), it includes a tightening up of some of the sections,
more examples, and some additional info on KEETON. It is on landscape size 8.5 x 11 paper.

https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B8q-nG ... XVHQXdpQVU

Enjoy.

[Onix]

Downloaded! I read through it a bit. The new layout elements like the gray example boxes are nice looking.

[J.K.Mosher]

Thanks Onix

I printed it out at work after uploading it last night.
If you print it out in duplex all the "even" pages are up side down

But I'm liking how it looks. should have found some more pics though

Thanks again for all the help in proofing it.

[J.K.Mosher]

After all the work I put into "the Silent Void"
I am severely tempted to try and run a game of it, and petrified at the same time

So here's a call for interested players. . . and a GM if someone wants to try

I'll Gm (shudders at the thought) if no-one volunteers to run a game

[J.K.Mosher]

Through the current running of a "the Silent Void" game on these forums I have come to
find the game is still not yet complete.

Some areas I have to revisit include;
- Rules for Joint Actions
ie: when two or more characters are attempting/assisting on a single task. (Ex: Forcing open a door)
- Regaining MAP/PEP via achieving Perfect Result rolls while biding
ie: Should the character regain spent MAP/PEP on any perfect result when they have bid points, and
how much should they regain? Should they just regain the points they bid or should it be a static
value based on their original total or current total?
- Expansion of the original premise to give a more space feel
ie: item descriptions and rules = EVA suits, propellant/thrust packs, shuttles, stations
-Expansion of the character creation system to include specializations
ie: Computer Tech vs Rough Neck; House Keeping vs Security; Medical vs Fire Fighter
I'm focusing more on the mining sphere of jobs as it fits with the overall feel I started with on
the test game. This will also require the creation of a character sheet.
- A Game Record sheet to allow the GM to accurately track spent resources.
(I already made one mistake in recording spent AR, will probably do it again without a doubt.)
- Expansion/Revision of the BID system to include more options and a greater variance in
how different tasks are rated versus how complex there are.
ie: Smashing a computer terminal with a steel bar (EASY) vs Rewriting/debugging the entire boot system of a shuttle (Difficult to Near Impossible)
- Revision of the Resolution system from using flipped coins to using dice (d4 or d6).
Not sure on this one. I like the coins but they make for a very narrow field of results.
- Expansion on what constitutes the various degrees complications.
ie: Minor vs Serious vs Severe vs Critical.

- Revision of the game book layout, possibly to include more examples, and if I can more artwork.

I'm thinking of these revisions as they will help me get the base mechanic for the system efficiently
pliable to be used with "Survive" as if my original intention, but as I review and jot down notes I have a
feeling that "Survive" will end up broken out into smaller sections as various individual games using
a core system.

[J.K.Mosher]

Judges Feedback Please



But on the 24 hour entry not the current game

[Chainsaw Aardvark]

I think it was very innovative that you made a little spaces game that fit in a limited space, and could probably be played in a very small space as well since you're just flipping coins. That you went on to make an expanded version after the 24 hours is also wonderful, and is the true spirit of the challenge - get working and keep working.

However, - one page produced in 24 hours seems to pale next to the effort that produced ten or twenty pages in that time. Being stuck alone in the void is an interesting scenario - but its not really a world you return to time after time.

There isn't too much to say about the system itself - it seems to work, and you have been doing an excellent job of finding the gaps in it and adding new content. Character creation is easy enough, and the system is explained fairly well. It might be nice to allow the characters to stop, breath deep, and calm down - thus trading air points to replace spent PEP/MEP.

Right justified headings make for a lot of widowed space - using a somewhat different (sans-serif) font and left justified would have been better, along with slightly larger indents on paragraphs. Obviously, under the tight space requirements, altering size would be difficult. As with most government/NASA photographs, that one is released to the public domain - but a small attribution or mention of the test would probably be polite.

That is all I can think of for the moment. Thanks for the entry and good luck with the expanded version.

[J.K.Mosher]

Thanks for the Feedback

Any other Judges/Reviewers that would like to give feedback/reviews
feel free . . . the more info the better

I agree the effort others have devoted in the 24 hour period is way beyond what
I devoted on the first draft.

Again thanks for all the suggestions and comments. Apprieate it

[Rob Lang]

CA and I agree a lot about these sorts of things. I thought it was very much in keeping with the spirit of the competition too. A single page of game with a workable system is a challenge in itself but in comparison with the other games, it was effort that kept it out of contention.

I'd also wonder how many options the player characters has when drifting in a space suit. Even with story game control ("oooh, a passing satellite"), there just aren't that many ways to drift back. Not that I could think up.

Or am I missing something?

I'll wait for the expanded version to be complete before I look at reviewing it on blog.