Review: all theives are gay anyway

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Entry: All thieves are gay anyway

Reviewer: Mark Vallianatos


First off the title of this game is homophobic. It also reinforces a negative stereotype of thieves that has manifested itself in the role playing community ever since the publication of the Advanced Dungeons & Dragons Special Reference Work Players Handbook a Compiled Volume of Information for Players of Advanced Dungeons & Dragons, Including: Character Races, Classes, And Level Abilities; Spell Tables And Descriptions; Equipment Costs; Weapons Data; And Information on Adventuring, which includes on page 27 a picture of a thief wearing only pants and a dagger scabbard and stealing the pouch from (while threatening with the dagger drawn from the aforementioned scabbard) some merchant or the like who is wearing curly toed boots which raises the question of why the thief can’t even afford shoes or a shirt when he robbing everyone left and right, and before you answer well it’s a Halfling that’s why he isn’t wearing boots (high, hard; high, soft, low, hard, or low, soft: ibid pg. 35) no he’s got smooth hairless feet and anyway he’s the same height as the robbed merchant who is clearly not a Halfling and even if he were a badly drawn Halfling they are both taller than the door handle also in the picture and assuming it’s a majority human city then if they were Halflings they would only come up to the door handle and to anticipate your objection that maybe the town is majority Halfling or the Halfling district of a ‘big people’ town that’s unlikely because the building the merchant is cowering against is brick and mortar and all readers of J.R.R. Tolkein’s the Hobbit remember the descriptive passage about the comfy hobbit hole which is dirt and wood based reflecting the ‘earthiness’ of Halfling culture. I won’t even mention the infamous ‘no honor among thieves ….” illustration on page 24 of the Dungeon Masters Guide which is totally ridiculous given that thieves congregate in guilds and are the only class with their own cant which is a form of communication and if you can’t trust one’s fellow tradesman how can you form these complex social organizations? That’s just the title. Highlights, or lowlights, to coin a phrase, of the rest of the game include the lack of a black and white line illustration (or illustrations to show multiple sides thereof) of a Dreidel which is almost as obscure as die 12s etc and more obscure in some quarters; a separate and complex combat mechanic rather than smooth integration with overall task or conflict resolution ( which has been read over ten thousand times so you’d think Graham would have seen it); and an over-arty font for section headings.

Creative and Effective Incorporation of Rules: 2 (for the effort)
Clarity: 6 (easy to understand, multiple examples)
Completeness 4 (Can monsters fight back? If it’s a game about killing things why can a character also take the monsters’ hit points?)
Estimated Effectiveness in Play: 5 (Could be played but no need to)
Swing Vote: 5 (few minutes of fun)
total: 22

[Graham Walmsley]

Good vitriol! Thanks!

Graham

[Joshua BishopRoby]

Mark, you're my hero.

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[Graham Walmsley]

[kenjib]

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