Review: all theives are gay anyway

[jmstar]

[kenjib]

The following games also make extensive (sometimes even exclusive) use of the d12:

Led Zeppelin at the Marriott
The Hellriders of Ernst and Young
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas, the RPG
A Date with Natalie Portman, the RPG
ZARDOZ (The gun is good. The penis is evil. Go forth... and KILL!)

That's just off the top of my head. There are plenty more. Unfortunately those games are all published in Sao Tome and Principe and really hard to find in the US. I wouldn't be suprised if you can't find them in the UK at all. (And Yes, I'm kidding ).

[Destriarch]

[Matt Cowens]

I have recently read your excellent pamphlet "All Theives Are Gay Anyway" and am now in possession of several questionables:

1. If the players want to name their character in a foreign language, is that to be accepted if the translated meaning is still 'strong the strong'? May they use any European Union language, but not the filthy tongues of countries not yet equipped with Sky Digital Television? I ask because one of my regular gaming group has given up English for Lent, and now speaks only in Klingon.

I am not sure, but I think his diagrams indicate that the Klingon language has many words meaning 'strong'.

2. Dudgeonmaster - is it both appropriate and also legal to wear a special headgear when you are the dudgeon master? With horns?

3. My regular gaming group do not understand gay emotions like friendship or compassion. Can we substitute 'bloodlust' or 'wants to sleep with women' as emotions? (Of course, all of my gaming group are men, with strong manly body odours.)

4. Are there any plans to make Advanced All Theives Are Gay Anyway? We are very good at leveling up, and will need some tougher monsters to fight to keep us interested. Perhaps Angry Mountain (150 hit points / gold) and Indestructible Giant Boulder (200 hit points / gold) would be good villains. They have proven very vigorous in our prior games (using our own homebrewed system called 'Generic Offensive Comment', or GOC for short.)

Please to congratulate you on many year success.

[Graham Walmsley]

Matt,

There are indeed plans to develop an advanced version of All Thieves Are Gay Anyway, called All Thieves Are Totally Gay Anyway. It is planned as an entry for Game Chef next year (whatever the ingredients are).

The advanced version will include rules for using gold to buy equipment, plus 40 pages of game fiction to bulk up the text.

If you like, you can use the new equipment rules in your existing Thieves campaigns. A basic piece of equipment - describable in one word, such as "Sword" or "Axe" - costs 10 Gold. For each additional word, multiply the cost by 10.

Here is a sample price list:

Sword: 10
Vorpal Sword: 100
Big Vorpal Sword: 1000
Vorpal Sword of Death: 10000
Vorpal Sword of Vorpal Death: 100000

If you wish to add a modifier, such as +4, simply multiply by the price of the modifier. Hence, a +4 Vorpal Sword of Vorpal Death costs 400000 Gold.

Note that none of this equipment has any effect on combat.

I think most of your other questions were asked for comic effect.

Graham

[Mr. Teapot]

[Destriarch]