Pillaging the Pitiless Palace

As the prisoner of a selfish, cruel dictator who swiped all your merchandise, you can get mad and you can also get even. You just need to get out of your cell and escape the palace with all the loot you can carry, before the helpful staff put you on the menu for their pet ogre. This is a solo RPG that can be played with pencil, paper, and six-sided dice. A roll of the dice reveals whether you are a human, an elf, a dwarf, or a space alien. You also get to have one spell and two weapons. You need all the help you can get, as you roll to find out what lies behind each of six doors. Is it a passage to freedom? Is it more doors? Is it a big, ugly mummy or a nasty skeleton? Do they have any treasure worth stealing after you kill them off with your screwdriver or your sonic force spell? It’s all a matter of chance. Along the way, you can keep most of the sixes you roll and stockpile them to either convert them into Reward Points (your loot) or transform them into Life Points. Naturally, you want to get out of the palace but you also want to make up for the loss of your livelihood, so you hope to get at least 50 points in the bargain. You’ll have to decide sometimes what’s more important to you: that extra piece of treasure or staying alive a little longer.

Yesterday, you were just an innocent wandering merchant with a stock of wine. Today you’re a prisoner in the heart of the local overlord’s sprawling palace complex at the mercy of his henchmen. They have the wine and you have one day to get out before they use you as bait in a game of “tease the ogre.” Luckily, they left the slackest guards in charge of your cell. They’d rather play cards than watch you closely. A loud argument over a good hand was your chance to get the keys off the floor,
where they landed after the table got turned over. Now the guards are being summoned to the commandant’s office for discipline. You make your way out of the dungeon and start looking for the exit. Before you exit the last door, you have time to grab some weapons off the wall.

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2 Responses to “Pillaging the Pitiless Palace”

  1. NEUICON Says:

    This was an awesome game, and tons of laughs, too. Thanks for the game!

  2. Altzan Says:

    Agreeing with Neuicon, very funny and interesting. I got out with only 44 RP though, I’ll go for better next time!